Oh My Gosh! I'm a college student!

Hey all!

I am sorry for lack of updates. Like always, each time I want to get on here to write, I get distracted or I run out of time. I have time now, so I will give you the "low-down" on my college life and how I am coping. How shall I start? Everything is so new and different. Things are different everyday. One day I am totally loving every aspect, then the next I want to be home lounging in my PJs. I think I will have to break down my thoughts into categories for me to tell you guys most of it.

Classes- Some of the classes that I thought would be hard are actually easier then I thought. Then the classes I was not as worried about are scarier then I thought. My favorite class so far is either Intro to Communication Arts or Transitions. They are both fairly easy classes with little to no homework. The hardest class is Intro to Media Writing. That is the class related to my major: Journalism. It's quite a scary class. My first assignment due the first week of class was a 500 word feature story on a article on the current state of journalism. I had slaved and cried over, and I still don't have a grade yet. I am hoping to get some kind of feedback soon. There are two good things about this class though. One, it's in a awesome room. It's called the "News Lab" and it was built just for us journalism students. Aren't we special? There are 3 or 4 rows of long desks and each chair has a Apple computer. (They are really expensive yet wonderful computers.) The other thing I like about the class is that it is small. There are only about 10 or 12 journalist majors so far at Cedarville. I hope that means that we can become close friends as we are the pioneers of journalism at Cedarville. But, I think this class will challenge me and pretty much decide my future. If I can't handle this class, I won't be able to handle Journalism.

Friends- I do have some friends already. I don't have any "best friends" but that is only a matter of time. It's scary to go in the cafeteria and not no where to sit, but I have met the nicest and coolest people just by sitting down with them randomly. I guess that is something you have to do in college. You have to choose to meet people and be a little bit more out there then you usually are. My unit is getting pretty close and I get along great with our co-unit next door. We actually have a RA just for the two units and she is super cool. Some of the girls have been calling her mommy but I just call her Faith for now. We also have brother units and they are also really nice and cool. We did not know how they would be because they are from the "geeky" dorms but we grew to love them. They will be very cool brothers. Some of them are even cute.. hehe... Yes, speaking of cute guys, I am not dating anyone yet, but I have found some cute guy that I would like to get to know better. I'll let you know any developments. :)

God- Chapel has been an amazing thing since I have been here. I am so glad that I chose a Christian college. You can just tell that God is with us here. I am going to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon with my units now! TTYL. I will get a chance to finish everything tomorrow.

College is finally here...

Right now, I am sitting in my unit lounge. It's actually pretty nice.. It has a couch thing and a chair. They are pretty comfy, so I can't complain. It's also pretty good size. It's all tile but it's pretty homey. You might want to know about my room then. Or maybe, I should start with my dorm.. It's my dream come true.. It's not the prettiest or most high tech, but it has a nice size courtyard. You have to get into the courtyard to get into the units. Once you get into the units, there is the lounge, a bathroom, and four rooms. I am in room C. It's a pretty nice room. I have most of my stuff organized, but I still have tomorrow with my family to help me. I will get a bookshelf and microwave. Oh, and I shower caddy.. And some snacks. I am going to be all set for college life.. Now, I just need to adjust to new people. I am having a hard time trying to make friends and being outgoing. I am sure that will get better over time, but I still feel bad about it. Well, I will write a little more later. I have to look at my schedule for tomorrow. It's hectic..

P.S.- The campus is so pretty. There are no words to describe it. When I arrived and saw it, I cried.

How do we know?

How do we know what Gods wants us to do? How do we know if we are doing what he wants us to do? If are taking a certain path, how do we know we are right with God? How can we be sure we are following him? These are the questions I am fighting with this morning. As I am going off to college, I have become more overwhelmed then I ever though I could be. My life is in the balance, and I don't really know where I am going. Sometimes, I don't know who I am. Things get confusing and then I just breakdown. I don't like it. I want to be unbreakable and strong and be able to take everything that comes. Sometimes, I just feel so weak and helpless.

Ya know, as I am typing this, I am thinking of these things, God has already answered my questions. Who am I? I am a child of god. God has great things planned for me. I am struggling to figure out what I should be doing and if God is using me. I want to be used. I want to change the world, but I don't have the chances that other people do. I don't know how can use me with what I have now. I love how God uses simple things to get his is point across. I got this email yesterday. I have signed up for a daily encouraging word from K-love. "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18, NLT" He is telling me that I am where he has made me to be. I need to be happy and content with where I am, because I don't know His will. I just have to let life unfold everyday and pray for chances to make a difference. This is what I got today. This made me cry. "And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him.

~ 1 John 5:14, NLT" He hears me when I am crying out to Him when I am weak and ready to just give up. I am glad he hears when I cry out for help to do His Will.

A week and a day later..

Wow.. See, I post again soon after the last one.. I was not going to, but then I had inspiration and so I decided I would. In order to get something done, I have to just do it. I can't set times or say I will do it later. I like to put things off to the last minute.. hehe..

So, I was about to graduate last time I posted. Well, I did graduate, with honors and a $500 scholarships.. I also graduated with blisters. I had to wear formal shoes and I don't ever wear nice, formal shoes. I always wear running shoes. Well, the backs of these shoes cut and rubbed into my heal. They actually rubbed my heal raw and when the ceremony was over, I looked to see why they hurt; they were almost bleeding. So, that was loads of fun. But, they are all healed now. No more blisters.. just scabs. Other then that, the ceremony was awesome! I was so amazed the whole time.. "Wait, Am I really here already?" I mean, I counted down the days ever since the beginning of the year. For it to be right in front of me was insane. But, I soaked up every minute of it. Even my uncle told me I had the "graduate" look.

Now, that graduation is over, college is really coming. I am getting super excited and super worried. It's really coming.. In TWO months (almost) I will be on campus ready for my first year. Two months! That's not very long at all. That's not even a full season. It will still be summer when I arrive on campus. I am a little scared about it actually. I can't turn back. I already have my major selected (Journalism), my deposit in and aid award finalized. Wanna know something amazing?! I have it all paid for.. Well sorta.. I needed about 10 thousand more and I applied for a private loan. I was approved! Now I am waiting for documents so it can be sent to my school. But, this means I won't have to worry. All I have to worry about now is graduated from college so I will have a job to pay off these loans. But, my first year of college is possible! Crazy?! I spend so many days and hours crying out to God wondering how I was ever going to afford it. Now, I look back and wonder how I could ever have such little faith. I once felt like I was drowning and like there was no hope for my dreams. In God's timing, not mine, He made everything perfect. He turned a seemingly impossible situation and blessed me more then I thought He would. I am always so impatient. I usually want to see things happen NOW. I don't like "wait and see." I have had to learn so much of that this past year, these past months. Even though I hated it, I waited. It has finally paid off because God knew what he was doing. His timing is always perfect. It's never late and never early.

Well, I am gonna do some reading or just relax. I am very tired and sore. I might even sleep.

Over and out,
Brenna

About to Graduate!

Well, you know me, you already know that I graduated early and I have my diploma. But, today is the ceremony. I can't blog for very long, but I wanted to try to put down some of my feelings at this time. OH My gosh.. I am jittery and I have a stomach ache. Part of me does not even realize that I am doing this. I am going to be there at the stadium and wonder why I am in a cap and gown. Is this really happening? I have looked forward to this day since the beginning of high school. I have thought of many different scenarios and now it seems like it will different then I had ever thought. I am happy, scared, worried, anxious, overjoyed and just a wild mix of emotions. But, here I go.. I am ready to officially become part of the graduating class of 2008.

Please Don't Hate Me..

I really have been busy. I try to make the time to just set aside 30 minutes to updating this blog but it is hard to find that. I am trying to find money for college, find a job, work online (more about that in a minute) and just live life. It is getting harder and harder, but it is also more exciting. I don't have time to do the things I used to do, and I know I am neglecting a lot of things: friends (some offline, lots online..), reading, preparing academically for college, TV Shows, message boards, writing.. Just lots of things.. I know I can't get everything done and have time for everything.. but find balance is hard to learn and adjust. And now.. on to what I have been doing..

Accomplishments-

I swam by myself for a little while. It was really scary at first, but then I did not want to stop. I swam in front of the pool wall so if I felt like I was going to sink, I could grab onto the ledge. It was fun though. I was just thinking that I had to try it.. "It is now or never." So I did it.. not just treading water.. (which I am doing really good at..) but actually kicking and moving through the water with my arms and legs. After we got out of the pool, I was shaking. I could not stop shaking and laughing. I did not think I was going to do that. I have always been fearful of swimming, so for me to swim like that was out of my comfort zone. It was amazing, and I was very proud of myself.

I convinced financial aid to give me more money.. Well, there was a mistake on the FAFSA. The government actually owed me more money with the Pell Grant. It was their mistake and so I looked into it and found out enough information to tell them what happened. I told them about it and I was not sure they would do anything.. They told me they would look into it though.. The next day, I checked my online award and I 500 dollars more in that Pell Grant. It was a "God Thing" because he helped me see the problem and he helped them see it too.

I got a job online.. ChaCha.. It is a service that answers your from your phone. You text them a question and you get a live answer back, usually in about 3 minutes. The people that answer the questions are called Guides. I am a proud ChaCha Guide. I actually earn .20 for every question. I have made 225 dollars since starting a month ago. I am glad I found a way to make extra money because I need every penny I earn. Without this job, I don't think I would have been able to make a deposit for college. So, if you want to, you can use ChaCha and help me go to college. . Also, if you want to become a ChaCha Guide and earn a little extra money answering questions (it can be really fun.. trust me..) leave a comment and I will help you become one. It's really simple and it is worth it.

Hardships-

Not everything this past month and this month has been fun and rewarding.. I have struggled more then I feel I have ever struggled (at least it feels like it.) Finding money for college is so stressful and sometimes I feel as if it is impossible. Sometimes I feel like I drowning in a sea of doubt. Sometimes I don't feel I am working hard enough or doing enough, but I know I am trying my best. Most of the time I just cry because I want this so bad, and I just don't know how I can make it work. I am trusting God with it, but I get scared that this is not where He wants me to me. There are have been so many "God Things" with this college, but things change so fast.. I just hope and pray that He will lead me to where I need to go. I know he will never leave me or abandon me, and it seems like I need him more then ever.

Once again.. I am dreadfully sorry for forgetting about you all.. Just know that I am trying my best and I still care for those who read this..

Talk to ya all later,
Brenna

P.S- I think I might have poison Ivy rash. Sound fun, right? It is..

Easter Sunday

Hey all!

If you want to listen to some music while you are here, I found some radio stations that you can play right here on this page. I thought that was kind of neat. They also have a TV, but then you would not read my posts. You would be watching TV then. So, I got the TV thing for my self. I put it on my Google page. It is pretty neat how we can do all these things in one spot. It is really anymore simpler then before though? Oooo, I just found a new gadget for my page. It is kind of fun to see what it out there for websites.

So, It is Easter today, and our church had too services. One at 8:30am and 10:30 am. I had to sing for both of them. It was sort of tiring, but it was different. I did not get breakfast before the first service. I had to wait till it was over to eat. Then, I felt much more alive and I think I did better the second time around.

Easter is really special to me, but sometimes I don't understand all the hype over one day. We are supposed to celebrate Jesus everyday. It is good to devote one day to celebrating but it should not be made a once a year thing. Let's celebrate the fact that Christ died for us everyday!

Happy Easter all!

Brenna