Update and a small rant.

Hey everyone! I hope things are well with you guys. Things are going good for me, for the most part. There are a few annoyances but I am working to get around them. First, there are groups of poeple; clicks. I love hanging out with poeple, but its sometimes hard when certain people hang out with certain poeple. Who knows? I may be wrong, but it seems like some poeple have already found where they belong and are sticking to that. Maybe I am not trying hard enough to be outgoing but I would like it if people came to me to talk or hang out. I don't know. It's probally just some underlying problem of not being content. I have met awesome people here, and while I don't belong to a group of friends, I can say that all the poeple here are in some ways friends of mine.

You guys started this blog to find out what I have been up to and I start talking about more deeper things. I am sorry for that. This is apart of my time here. I am trying to figure out who I am and where I belong. I want to be in the center of God's will for my life and I can only pray that that is where I am. I have learned new things about myself. I can do anything pretty much. I am WAY more independent than I thought. I am able to conquer fears I thought were impossible to conquer. I have learned to put myself out there and not be afraid of how others respond. I have learned that being in a group is not everything, and you can be apart of a group without being "apart" of a group. I can handle college level work. I can handle a lot more than I thought. I am soo ready for college. It's weird. I want to come back here, but part of me wants to go home and stay home, because that is where I am accepted. I am afraid if I come back, it will be the same and I will once again, feel left out, but this time for 4 years. You see, I want to be friends with everyone. I like hanging out with a diverse amount of people. I guess I have to realize that there are groups that I will never really be apart of.

Today was my first exam. It is not as bad as a thought, but I am not sure if I did a group job. I hope so. I want to get into Princeton. In case you don't know, I am a overachiver. I strive for my personal best. I don't EVER want to settle for something that does not meet my standards and God's. As I am realizing that I might want to come back here for college, I am scared that I will have missed my big chance at Princeton, Yale or Bucknell. In chapel today, the speaker was talking about how so many people take God's will as being a dot which you have to land on. I am one of those people. If I don't go to the right college, I will mess up my entire future. I could end up in a career that I hate doing and never get married. I don't know where I am supposed to go and that scares me very much. I want life to be like "Touched by a angel" or "Joan of Arcadia". God will just give me a assignment and I complete it and go on to the next one untill I reach heaven.

Once again, I am sorry for those of who wanted a play by play of how life is like here. Well, in a way, this is the way life is here.

Oh, one more thing. I am not sure how many people are reading this from home, but I would like mail. I hate to sound like a brat, but do you guys even miss me? Brenna? Who is that? Oh, thats right, she is that one girl who comes every Sunday with her sisters. I did not know she was gone. Huh.

Alright, I have taken myself from happy to thoughful to slightly sad. Great. Well, I got to go.

Ttyl,
Brenna